Visions of Johanna

What is up with me? I seem, as ever, unable to maintain a sense of proportion. It was one thing being terribly smitten with my ex all those years ago. I'd got to know her well and she was a good friend. I hardly know my Crush With Eyeliner at all. All I know is that she's a really nice person and that she's gorgeous. And here I am acting like a 15 year old girl. I was chatting with Gwen earlier and mentioned running into her this morning. The thing I didn't mention when observing that she looked stunning was that while we awaited the lift and I was taking a good look at her and making said observation, she smiled and my heart leapt.

I can't remember that happening often. One occasion, particularly vividly etched in my mind, occurred about a week or ten days after my ex and I got together. I was going out early on a Sunday to London to see the first game of the season and she was still asleep. I peeked through the door just before I left and all I could see was her head on the pillow with her long red hair cascading around her perfect serene face. My heart leapt then. I honestly didn't believe I would ever see anything as beautiful as my ex was in that moment, but I did this morning.