Look around you, what do you see?

Open up your CD player, what's inside? My CD player is in its box upstairs as I haven't put the stereo together since I moved house. My CD-ROM drive contains the new Blackmore's Night album Fires At Midnight. My CD-R has a compilation of various female singers that I burned for my ex's sister.

Look in your VCR, is there a movie? Nope. The VCR is in its box in the loft since I moved here three months ago. The DVD-ROM drive in my laptop contains Being John Malkovich though.

If there happens to be music playing right now, what is it? My favourite Rammstein song, "Wollt Ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen?", from their first album Herzeleid. What a great band. A truly monstrous, brutal sound, no compromise whatsoever. They even manage to be commercially successful in America whilst singing in German, which is too, too cool.

What are you wearing? Thinkgeek t-shirt and last season's 1.FC Kaiserslautern away shorts.

Look down, what's the first thing that catches your eye? My Apple Pro Mouse.

Turn on your TV if it's not on already, what network is it? I don't have a TV. And if the TV Licensing people are watching, that's why I don't have a TV licence, you arseholes. Because I don't need one, so quit harassing me about it. But if I did have a TV it would undoubtedly be tuned to Sky Sports.

Look out the window, what's the weather like? Night, very cool and clear. Was a warm, sunny day.

If you were to hit redial on your phone right now, where would it call? Nowhere. I haven't used it since the new line was installed two days ago. My other line would call my mother. My mobile would call a guy in Germany who is responsible for backing up our enterprise monitoring system.

Say "hello?" out loud, did anyone answer? No, but Curtis is sitting on the arm of the sofa next to my desk and she looked round at me, hoping for a noserub, I expect.

What are you planning on doing next as soon as you get offline? Offline? I have cable at home and I work for an ISP. I'm never offline. But I suppose sleeping counts. That's what I'm doing next. Reading a few pages of The Third Reich: a new history by Michael Burleigh first.