Cor blimey, guv. Would you Adam & Eve it?

Here's one for my fellow natives of old Blighty. Have you ever tried explaining Cockney rhyming slang to an American? You know and I know that it's all a bit silly really. No, not a bit silly. Absolutely risible, in fact. Once you try explaining it to an native English-speaking foreigner with the aid of examples, as I did whilst chatting with Princess Gwendolyn and the Button Monkey, it becomes abundantly clear how fundamentally utterly stupid it is. No wonder they think we're weird over here.

Rather Snappish: mmm. as predicted, right out of the oven. chicken burgers and oven chips. sorry, fries I believe you septics call them.
gw3nd0lyn: septics?
gw3nd0lyn: i have never been refered to as a septic
gw3nd0lyn: at least not to my face
Rather Snappish: sorry - Cockney rhyming slang. Cockneys are real Londoners. they have a curious rhyming slang where a phrase means something it rhymes with, but the second word is usually omitted. e.g. septic = septic tank = yank
gw3nd0lyn: ah ok
gw3nd0lyn: how the hell do you ever figure that out?
Rather Snappish: have a butcher's (butcher's hook) = take a look
boat (boat race) = face
Chevy Chase = face
Rather Snappish:you get a feel for it.
gw3nd0lyn: ummmmm i will have to study up i guess
Rather Snappish: some are really arcane, like iron = homosexual
gw3nd0lyn: how is that?
Rather Snappish: iron hoof = poof
Rather Snappish: ruby = curry (Ruby Murray)
trouble = wife (trouble and strife)
gw3nd0lyn: i could never be a true londoner
Rather Snappish: no, well, they sure as shit don't speak the Queen's English
Rather Snappish: there's a ton more but I can't think of any at the moment
gw3nd0lyn: that is quite alright i am dizzy now
Rather Snappish: cup of Rosie = tea (Rosie Lee)
<pause>
eatonte: That is some entirely fucked up shit you are talking about...
eatonte: Do you have to be altered mentally to figure it out?
Rather Snappish: it helps. Londoners are weird fuckers.
eatonte: And people say Americans ruined the English language...