National stereotypes debunked (and confirmed)

I've been in the Netherlands one day so far and I can already confirm one national stereotype. Two, actually, if you contrast it with one about the Germans. The object of our visits to our European operating companies is to roll out our company's Enterprise Monitoring System. So far we've had a meeting with the chief technical officer of the Dutch opco and one of his senior network guys. They expressed enthusiasm for the project and showed considerable willingness to give us whatever help we need to get our work finished before we leave. In this and the whole laid-back, friendly office environment they tend to confirm the stereotype of the Dutch as relaxed, helpful, congenial people.

This is in stark contrast with the attitude of the German engineers (with two notable exceptions), whose miserable, uncooperative and awkward demeanour tends to confirm their stereotype as humourless, unhelpful, obstructive gits. This irritated me greatly for two reasons. Firstly my considerable experience of dealing with people in Germany, my favourite destination, shows that Germans are not at all humourless and are generally friendly, helpful and hospitable. Secondly at least one of my two cow-orkers on this gig had never been to Germany before and was thus presented with a false impression of your average German. Sure there are people like that there, just as there are miserable unhelpful Dutch people, Parisians who drive perfectly safely and bank employees who actually understand whose money it is, but it's not generally the rule. Happily we went out with these guys in the evening a couple of times, where they metamorphosed, in Kafka-esque fashion, into the friendly, generous, hospitable types I'd promised was normal.

In fact this project gave me the chance to test another famous stereotype, that of Parisians as fantastically rude, obstreperous, unhelpful bastards. I'd never been to Paris before and having now spent a week there I can cheerfully report that said reputation appears wholly unfounded. We encountered precisely one snotty Parisian and she was a cash register operator in the office canteen, an occupation which seems unlikely to fill anyone with the joys of spring. In general quite the reverse was true and people were fine, friendly and unhurried, even on the Métro in rush hour. People just seemed happy to enjoy what is probably the finest city anywhere on God's green earth, certainly the most fabulous place I've ever been.

Parisian drivers, on the other hand, fully merit their psychotic reputation. Everything you've ever heard about them is true. They don't just want you dead, they want you flat as well. You are taking your life in your hands if you attempt to cross Place de la Concorde to get to the Tuileries Gardens or the Louvre. Take my advice. Go around the outside and cross Rue Tivoli instead. It's worth it. Takes a bit longer but the view is much better when you get there than the one you get with your head mashed into the tarmac at the end of the Avenue des Champs Elysées.